Innergiggler's Blog

THE BLOG THIEF

Posted on: May 27, 2010

Slaving away all day at the computer mired in the last of my semi-clean jeans & tee left an odor of funkiness drifting  through the apartment that even began to turn me off.   I tried spraying that awful stuff I call ca ca spray,  it smelled worse.  I sliced huge chunks of onions into my eggs to misdirect the aroma…but failed to de-whiff any area of my living space.

So I pulled the temporary plug on the blog, entitled “The First Time I Saw His…”  which I was totally enjoying…and scooted off to the laundromat.  Busy…busy…too many cars parked in the lot so I drove off to do an errand for a friend, a little food shopping…grab an early dinner…Bingo!  There was a parking space and I was ready to repent for my smelly duds. 

My plan was to continue working on my blog in between converting dollars to quarters, washing, rinsing, spinning, drying and folding.    In between the matching corners on those east coast King sheets which are six feet wide and I’m barely above five feet…I was stretching…pulling, re-folding to make ends meet each other…I was totally focused on pinning the corners…so when I turned around to put my blog safely in my cart…I noticed…my blog was freakin’ gone…!

Ordinarily I’d be upset…but now I’m enraged!  This was the quintessential blog…perhaps the absolute best blog ever written in the history of the world.  It was genius!  It had personification, unification, onamatopoeia, metaphors, analogies, similies and even homilies…yes it was life-affirming, sermon-like.  I believe it could have cleaned up the oil spill in Louisiana and possibly, very possibly ended world hunger.

The movie based on the blog would have been Oscar-nominated…and I could have moved out of a small apartment into a large home where all my friends could visit from other coasts and gather for Salon Sundays.

I looked around, surveyed the other customers…could it be the six non-English speaking women with carts piled higher than the Eiffel Tower? Hmmm!  The homeless guy…yeah…he mighta been thinking he could sell my blog and buy a bottle of vodka…nah!  His contacts probably aren’t reliably humor buffs.   Now I’m panicking…I rushed to the car to see if I might have moved it during the stress of getting clean…oh no! 

The laundry manager whose head is covered with unbraided brillo-like curls just took out his guitar and began singing!!!  He’s singing loudly and totally off-key.  He seems awfully happy…lemme get a look inside his guitar…maybe he’s the culprit…No!  There’s nothing in his instrument…neither the one he’s playing nor that thing on his head…

I promised Hollye I’d get this blog done tonight…I don’t want to disappoint anyone…but obviously…it’s gone.  How does one replicate a gift from the universe?  It was a one time deal…like the time my dog ate my brilliant homework.  Oh well, tomorrow’s another day.

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2 Responses to "THE BLOG THIEF"

Miss Stinky…love it! Especially the six feet sheets and five foot body….WE ARE TWINS!!! xoxo

oh how i love you linda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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