Innergiggler's Blog

MY MOM DIDN’T FART

Posted on: June 24, 2010

Astounding but true; MY MOM didn’t fart.  Not that she was too busy or possessed faulty plumbing, no!  Farting was not the kind of body function a middle class Jewish woman felt comfortable admitting.  I suspect she wasn’t alone in the “no fartage” in the presence of witnesses category. 

A common scenario…dad, little brother, mom and I might be sitting around watching TV and without warning that too familiar smell wafted through the den demanding we relinquish our attention from Dr. Richard Kimble running from Lt. Gerard in “The Fugitive.”  We’d look around at each other waiting for a volunteer to own up.  It was like “The Spanish Inquisition.”  Who amongst us committed this heinous crime against man?  I’d shake my head “No way!”  My brother would offer, “Not this time.”  Finally, all  eyes rolled toward dad:  “Don’t look at me, I just took a shit!”  In unison,  heads turned immediately toward our reddish brown and white-haired collie Lady, who was innocently sleeping at mom’s feet.  No one ever, not for a second, looked at my Mom.  Her ass was considered incapable of pumping out stinky air.  Of course she too would look down at Lady and make a disparaging comment.  I never considered during all that time that she was qualified to be the culprit. 

 As mom entered her 80s, her hearing went downhill but she refused to wear hearing aids.  “Those things are too annoying…beeping in the movie theatres…clogging up my ears…you want me to hear you…talk louder!”  She didn’t think we could hear her farts a ripping…she could no longer hear them. 

In my house it’s just my husband and I…it’s never a mystery…and usually creates funny comments and lots of laughter.

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2 Responses to "MY MOM DIDN’T FART"

Linda, Linda. So true a family scene. I am laughing and Mojo is tooting away!!

I feel like I was part of your family sitting watching Dr. Richard Kimble alias ‘The Fugitive’ …… who was the Uncle of a Grammar School Friend,Carol.

As Dr. Oz says WE all DO IT….Fart Away!!

Your Mom was so cool and I remember my Gram was the same way. Just the thought that this could never even come from any Woman. It was a Male thing or the poor pet dog.

I am loving you sharing memories of yourself and your family.

The funniest thing is that all you tagged for this blog was “fart”.
ha ha ha ha…

I suffer from the same affliction as your mom. If you ever hear of me randomly exploding one day, you’ll know why.

Cute story. xoxo

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