Innergiggler's Blog

PAGING EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

Posted on: July 15, 2010

Have the same haircutting person for years?   Lucky!   I can barely get through completion of one haircut without imploding.  Insisting theyknow exactly what I need…then proceeding to give me what they want.

Remedy? A referral from someone with a fabulous haircut…she told me to open my wallet wide and head to the best hairdresser in all the land.  Or maybe the fourteenth best.

Wheee!  I was on my way to Beverly Hills…happy as a girl swimming in chocolate syrup…upbeat…ready for perfection and a $200 haircut.  The most I’d ever paid before was $55…maybe that was the problem.

Right across from the star-studded restaurant, The Ivy, on Robertson, and just behind the popular NewsRoom eatery…I found the shop.  Within seconds I as in a fine haircutting smock and led straight to “the chair.”  The excitement building stopped short as soon as I saw HIM walking toward me…my stomach flip-flopped.  He didn’t exude a great vibe.  He reeked of “I am in charge…I’m da MAN!…listen to me cut!”

As usual I explained:  “Something simple…low maintenance…no daily blow-out…these are my hair issues…”  He nods, picks up his cutlery and begins snipping.  Just having a stranger cutting away is stressful enough…but this jerk also had an insatiable appetite for hearing the sound of his never ending, aggressive, former Israeli army, over-confident, voice.  I’m thinking…OCD…this man cannot stop his lips from moving and his voice box from spewing opinions about the “not-happening ever” peace in the Middle East.  My fault…I asked one teeny tiny question about his experience in the army.  Sorry…so sorry! 

For forty-five minutes he cut, blew out my hair and continued barking.  Upon completion of his aggression and for the next three minutes…I looked something like Jennifer Aniston…above the neck and behind the face.   I quickly offered up my credit card  as the key to my departure from his ongoing personal PA system…then ran to my car in fear he was still behind me yelping…and drove safely home. 

My husband complimented my new look…which is precisely the same look on every starlet, news anchor and single woman in Hollywood…ladies who surrender ten to thirty minutes daily wrestling with their blow dryers.  My arms are too short…it hurts. 

I went to my bathroom mirror and queried…“Mirror…Mirror on the wall…who will hook me up with gall?”  I then asked for guidance by the “hair goddess” lifted up my scissors and like Johnny Depp with his scissored fingers…snip, snip, snipped. 

Today…I’m happy and snappy…I will pay myself $50 and shop for some new nefarious underwear item…I’m PERFECT!

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2 Responses to "PAGING EDWARD SCISSORHANDS"

OMG you had me going there….I thought you were in some la la CA salon, which you were, ha. and in walked Johnny Depp. After my disappointment I continue to read and now see you are sister like to Jennifer Aniston. Personally your smile wins over hers.
Rob complimented because all husbands know better!!! and he sounds like a wonderful husband. But you came home and continued to cut your own hair I just hope it was in Robs bathroom again!!! ha
You are a tune!! Love to see picture of you in your Yankee hat!! xo
Yesterday must have been hair day. I now look like a boy.

This was sooooo funny (and equally uplifting)! There’s nothing like hair-cutting angst, huh?! Great show of mind over matter, Linda.

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