Innergiggler's Blog

WHAT’S MY WORTH – part 2

Posted on: December 30, 2010

Looking deeply into the mirror I ask myself:  “How can I change that feeling of fear which keeps me living small?”

LINDA – Recognize where and how the fear manifests:

Sometimes it looks like me sitting on the living room couch with the remote control in my left hand and a bag of corn tortilla chips (sometimes yellow – sometimes blue) in the right.  The race is on – which hand is fastest? 

It’s a tie.  I go from CNN to CNBC at the same rate it takes to stuff 11 chips in my face.  With this kind of excitement – who needs a bigger life?  I’m totally mesmerized by the news – like the terrible snowstorm preventing holiday travelers from reaching their destinations.  I saw one couple at LaGuardia in NYC who have spent three days trying to get to their honeymoon.  Then – OMG – unplowed streets of NYC outer boroughs resulted in unnecessary deaths when EMT units couldn’t get to patients needing immediate hospitalization.  One woman was beside herself having just watched her dad succumb to a perhaps unnecessary death.  My left hand fingers drop the remote to pick up the tissues – I am now bawling.  I need more chips to soothe myself.  Shit!  The hummus is all gone – BOO HOO!  Mommy!!!  Crap, she’s dead, just when I really need her.

Quieted down now, I realize that I am living a full life – just not my own.  I am sooo totally embarrassed.  I wonder what Rob is thinking of me.  Is my behavior pushing him toward thoughts of divorce?  I’ll teach him…

Ensuing argument thwarted.

I rush into his Man Cave and am greeted with his big beautiful smile.  He doesn’t have time to judge me because he’s too busy loving me and living his own life.  In that order.

Back in the house I realize I was so engrossed in the lives of others that I never went grocery shopping today- so I’m searching for the grocery flyers for sales – they guide my food shopping.  We need something to eat besides tuna fish.  And we’re out of hummus.  Oh it’s so dark and cold out. I don’t feel like dealing with irritated, tired shoppers at Ralph’s – just because unlike me, they were out working all day.

I’ll do better tomorrow – but it’s time for Jeopardy.  Maybe I’ll record that and watch yesterday’s episode of “Days of Our Lives.” 

Tomorrow will be a day absent of fear and filled with self-love and accomplishment.

PART THREE – TOMORROW

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10 Responses to "WHAT’S MY WORTH – part 2"

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

A day of writing is filled with self love and you were working and I am loving you for getting your blog on girl!!! and Rob is loving you and anyone who reads this will love it and you.

The news review was blowing my mind. All horrible, depressing stuff then they start with the resolutions and diets. Oh hell…

Mojo and I went for the Doritos..thanks…and they are good with the clementines which I love. Some combo.
I know some of those actors from the New School and NYU maybe I should start watching Soaps wonder if they are on DoOL’s. I will let you know.
Have no fear, I am always near to come smack you❤ our little secret!

I think we can all relate. Some days are like that.
That’s why sometimes I have to go on a news fast. I’d keep the doritos and ditch the bad news.

Snuggle in with a good book, take a walk outside, a phone call to a girlfriend, a hug with Rob. That would be a perfect day.

loving you. Loving your honesty.

Read your blog, Linda, parts 1 & part 2, and all I gotta say is, you’re a “Million Dollar Baby”, baby! That’s what you’re worth. That and so much more.
“Starting here, starting now, honey everything’s coming up roses for you………” You’ll see. You’re worth it and so deserve it!!
I <3<3<3 you.
Happy Happy Happy New Year!!!

Thanks Hollye – so love you back!

I liked that detail about the corn tortilla chips you inserted: “sometimes yellow — sometimes blue.”

Yep, sometimes we miss the bigger picture since we get distracted by outside stuff that sweeps us away in its dramatic whirlwind (the news)…

But, it’s nice having reminders, such as this post, that bring us back to appreciating our own lives. 🙂

i love your heart. it’s big & full & we all have fear & doubt & shame (or maybe some don’t…) and we get to share and talk and grow and cry and grow-up a bit…
it’s life.
you’re not only living it you’re doing it.
and rob loves you. and we all love you.
and you love us.
and isn’t that what it’s all about.
we’re not gonna let go.

i love you.

So glad I just saw this…….yes – it is what it’s all about! How beautiful – so very beautiful. Amy Ferris – you make me feel like the Taj Mahal + the Eiffel Tower + Sees Chocolate Factory all at the same time. I just love you back!

I am undeniably thankful to you for providing us with this invaluable critical info. My spouse and I are unquestionably grateful, entirely the computer data we needed.

i think this is a very serious topic that we MUST cover ALL DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY with our listeners! How FUCKING important it is to go out and LIVE YER OWN LIFE and stop watching and perpetuating the fame of others! This last Thanksgiving my brother and sister were both talking about who one of the Kardashian’s was dating and I was like “do you even know who I am dating”? ugh – it makes me disgusted because they are out living that fabulous live because people keep watching them! If more people started watching themselves and making themselves and their friends celebrities in their own lives, I would be willing to bet their lives would improve exponentially!

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