Innergiggler's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Days of Our Lives

Looking deeply into the mirror I ask myself:  “How can I change that feeling of fear which keeps me living small?”

LINDA – Recognize where and how the fear manifests:

Sometimes it looks like me sitting on the living room couch with the remote control in my left hand and a bag of corn tortilla chips (sometimes yellow – sometimes blue) in the right.  The race is on – which hand is fastest? 

It’s a tie.  I go from CNN to CNBC at the same rate it takes to stuff 11 chips in my face.  With this kind of excitement – who needs a bigger life?  I’m totally mesmerized by the news – like the terrible snowstorm preventing holiday travelers from reaching their destinations.  I saw one couple at LaGuardia in NYC who have spent three days trying to get to their honeymoon.  Then – OMG – unplowed streets of NYC outer boroughs resulted in unnecessary deaths when EMT units couldn’t get to patients needing immediate hospitalization.  One woman was beside herself having just watched her dad succumb to a perhaps unnecessary death.  My left hand fingers drop the remote to pick up the tissues – I am now bawling.  I need more chips to soothe myself.  Shit!  The hummus is all gone – BOO HOO!  Mommy!!!  Crap, she’s dead, just when I really need her.

Quieted down now, I realize that I am living a full life – just not my own.  I am sooo totally embarrassed.  I wonder what Rob is thinking of me.  Is my behavior pushing him toward thoughts of divorce?  I’ll teach him…

Ensuing argument thwarted.

I rush into his Man Cave and am greeted with his big beautiful smile.  He doesn’t have time to judge me because he’s too busy loving me and living his own life.  In that order.

Back in the house I realize I was so engrossed in the lives of others that I never went grocery shopping today- so I’m searching for the grocery flyers for sales – they guide my food shopping.  We need something to eat besides tuna fish.  And we’re out of hummus.  Oh it’s so dark and cold out. I don’t feel like dealing with irritated, tired shoppers at Ralph’s – just because unlike me, they were out working all day.

I’ll do better tomorrow – but it’s time for Jeopardy.  Maybe I’ll record that and watch yesterday’s episode of “Days of Our Lives.” 

Tomorrow will be a day absent of fear and filled with self-love and accomplishment.

PART THREE – TOMORROW

I finally learned avoiding TV shopping channels is an act of self-preservation…but only after the ill-fitting clothing…gaudy jewelry…hair chotchkies…non-miraculous youth creams…dulling shampoos, caking make-up, fragrances from hell…and barbaric slimming undergarments began taking up more closet and bureau space than my…drawers.

What irks me is the CALCULATED SALE…I’m unsuspectingly watching a NY Yankees home game on TV…every time a player is up at bat…which happens a minimum of 54 times per game… an enormous…vibrantly colored…larger than Sasquatch’s lips…billboard of a MACDONALD’S BIG MAC  reaches out for my mouth…my arteries…and of course…my wallet.  This distracting visual almost makes me forget how one bite of the over-processed burger makes me want to puke.  And…more importantly…the image detracts from the concentration on my beloved game.

There’s more.  My TV guilty pleasure…”Days of Our Lives” is now incorporating product placement.  Every few shows “they” slip in a mention of a specific snack food…”Let’s have a Hershey’s Bliss…they’re so delicious…” Back to the action…It’s hard to fast forward past eight words.  Do I really need to be reminded of chocolate…DO I?????

Fortunately I’m a woman of conviction…but…I…uh…need to call and cancel that clothing steamer I bought this afternoon…So I’m a mark!  Sue me!!!

ALL DRESSED IN WHITE…LINEN”

June 25th:  while the world is wiping tears, mourning last year’s deaths of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, I am celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary.  I say I/my because my husband is sick and sleeping deeply under his cocoon of goose down feathers stuffed into a powder blue king-sized comforter cover.

So let’s evaluate this ten year marriage thing…

THE CON

  • Rob is constantly leaving errant dirty dishes in the sink, on the stove…and misplaces items already having homes…like the cutting board
  • Replaces items so I can’t reach them…my whole wheat English Muffins are within his reach at 6’3” but I can’t even see them at 5’1.1”
  • Wasteful – he uses two (2) enormous Costco paper towels to wipe his nose
  • Trims his mustache/beard hairs in the hallway’s double mirror onto the carpet instead of in his bathroom three feet away
  • Noisy…this man needs the noise of fans on all the time; this wastes electricity, drives me crazy and forces me to wear ear plugs
  • Doesn’t like baseball…hates basketball
  • Will not watch any episodic TV, entertainment shows, Days of Our Lives…and although willing to watch Wolf, makes jokes about his Situation Room…doesn’t watch Rachel, will no longer watch Keith or Chris…and sometimes I see him sneaking over to Shepherd Smith
  • Constantly criticizes my driving…while I’m driving
  • Still smoking

 THE PRO 

  • LAUGHS AT MY JOKES
  • Has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever looked into and the softest, sweetest lips that have ever touched mine
  • Doesn’t need a wife; willing to cook
  • Supports my artistic endeavors; loves my writing and performing
  • Takes good care of me when I’m sick or feeling navy blue
  • Listens sometimes when I suggest…”We need to talk!”
  • Loves sitting and watching the ocean with his arms around me;
  • Loves being loved
  • Is an exquisite artist and appreciates nature so much more than I do
  • Has my back in this world and let’s me know it on a daily basis

 At this rate…we might make it to eleven.


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