Innergiggler's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Facebook

Someone please save me – pull the remote out of my hand – or better yet, just shoot me.   Now!

After two months in our new house, I finally prepared and cooked a whole meal for Rob and myself.  Then despite my desire to jump on Facebook to connect with all my bffs – I cleaned up.   Yes.  Every pot – three – and pan – one – is now sparkling and returned to its rightful place.  Completely – no cheating.

Exhausted, I’m plopping my tush on the uncomfortable living room couch – the new one will arrive ???  – ohhh it feels good anyway.  I can reach the remote which fits perfectly in my right hand where it belongs.  I’m ready for some cool TV.  CLICK!    

There’s this man on TV meeting one beautiful woman after another – and even though they don’t know him – they appear to be begging this unknown quantity to marry them.   Clicker – transfer me to a better world.

I’m stuck in some desperate fake reality.   I can’t move.

I didn’t turn it off.  I watched the whole thing.

I’m a woman of taste – and uh – substance.  If my intention was to be “leisurely” I could have watched last week’s episodes of “Days of Our Lives” or “Law & Order:  SVU” repeats.

I look to the left, to the right.  No one is watching.  I’d like to drape a cloth on every mirror in the house now. 

How about  I just giggle at my foibles.  I love foibles!  I even love saying the word. 


Hey!  Will you marry me???


But he’s still my best friend…

Not to say Rob and I don’t have our personal episodes of Macy’s July 4th Fireworks…

“Stop criticizing my driving…you’re gonna make me have an accident…”

“If you have an accident it’s because you’re a terrible driver…pull over…”

“Rob…we’re three miles from home…”

“Pull over…I’m getting outta this fucking car before we crash…”

“Great…get out!  I’m changing the locks on our front door…”

And to make his point…he walks home….and gets there before I call a locksmith.

The good news…the above hasn’t happened in quite a while…and…I’m not a terrible driver…Rob’s a stickler for Rules…Rules…and more Rules…and I’m…I’m a bender…

But one facet of Rob I really love…he knows how to be a friend…like when my Mom died…he was my friend…holding me up when I just wanted to lay down and die…he kept me afloat…On a lighter note…when I blow an audition…he’s right there with some comforting words…But the MOST IMPORTANT…AND NECESSARY…when I can’t fit into a pair of pants…”Honey…you always look beautiful to me…”

So when a friend who he hadn’t spoken to in a while called…said his  mom was dying…and asked…”Would you come spend a few days with me…?  Good friend Rob turned his schedule around and is in the process of making it happen.

I’m so proud of my best friend for being a friend…Wait!…You don’t think he’s gay…do you?

Last night at 7:14pm, I left my house carrying two bags of equal weight…one filled with anxiety…the other with excitement.    I was headed toward a dinner date with four Facebook  women I’ve known only through blogs and emails…direct and indirect over the last several months.  Virtually, there was an instant connection between us held together by the glue of creativity, an ability to love, take in and share.  We were coming together in physicality for the first time ever which could be wonderful…or not.  The destination was a popular restaurant.

Prepared for disaster…I brought a water bottle for security…figuring a blanket was too conspicuous.  I seated myself in wait for the four to arrive.  There was lots of action…a busy restaurant with people constantly coming and going which I found annoying and distracting… only magnifying my increasing anxiety level.  I noticed at one point my right hand was tremoring and had to decide between deep breathing or the local ER.  And then…and then I looked up…and saw a familiar and beautiful face, recognizable from her FB photo.  Female one, Amy Ferris who looked at me, smiled and kissed me on the lips.  Female two, Amy Friedman, who truthfully I had met at an event a few weeks before and was familiar with her heavenly face.  Another scrumptious looking, non-FB babe named Debbie, a friend of Amy One then joined us.  We all walked out onto the patio…and sighted two already seated and gorgeous Goddesses…female three MaxeeArtist and female four, Hollye Holmes Dexter, the youngest but not least experienced in Goddessness .  The evening began.

If I were a painter, this canvas would be splattered with colors of powder blue, green, yellow and pink.  There was laughter, shared intimacy, support, care, love, funniness, delight, personal essays, a solo show, more laughter, drinking, even more love…and eventually dinner.

I was wondering if anyone at The Cheesecake Factory found a brown bag of anxiety…apparently, I left it behind.

“Look up!”…“Keep your chin up.”…“Look on the bright side!”  All suggestions offered when challenges are poking me in the nose.   Fleshy arrows point skyward for clearance of my mental palate.  So…here I go:

I’m flying high over Santa Monica on a very overcast day.  Whoa!  Just slammed into three intersecting clouds…tee…hee…hee…they tickle.  Kinda feels like accidentally getting into a cold shower on a humid day…so it has a cooling effect.  More cotton balls are floating my wayalong with dust packages…so I’ll just navigate east…aagh!  Got hit again.  All right, come and find me cloudy faces…cause I’m heading toward sunshine

It’s so free up here…no constrictions or restrictions…I’m pure…like I haven’t incurred any demerits yet…a clean slate.  But…I also don’t have any friends up here…can’t get a cell phone signal to call and torture my husband.  Up here I don’t have a husband…a nice break, but I’m gonna miss his hugs and kisses.  Although I no longer have to worry about owning a Toyota, traffic, road ragers, running out of clean underwear, scrubbing my bathroom sink or tub.  I don’t need a haircut up here …whooo…hooo…I’m never satisfied with the cut anyway.  Hell, I don’t even have to comb my hair, paint my lips, tweeze my eyebrows…yuch…my nose is running and there are no tissues up here…grateful for the absorbency of a cotton blouse…though the 5% spandex is not a plus.   Yikes, no provisions for body functions…oh crap!  Maybe I won’t have body functions.  Mostly I’m wishing I could share the experience as it’s happening.  Maybe post it on Facebook.  I don’t get much of a life up here so I’ll have to depend on the lives of others for entertainment.

Looking at the world down there.  I see an elderly lady gently cutting beautiful yellow roses from her garden then smelling them.  There’s a young mom wheeling her apparent twins in a stroller at a Malibu beach; she stops and gives each baby a bottle.  It’s all lovely from up here.

No!  Two boys are holding up a convenience store east on Venice Blvd; one has a gun.  Now an ambulance is dashing north to Sunset & Bundy, a homeless guy was just badly beaten.  I guess I have to look further up – where everything is so tiny all I can see is puffy clouds and…and…a helicopter that’s flying toward me, circling me, telling me to get down.  No!  I’m staying…the clouds are starting to leak!  I’m being blown closer to the helicopter…I’m…crashing…falling quickly down. Ow!

It doesn’t hurt so much when I open my eyes…just love the comfort of down pillows.  I’m going to take this opportunity to scrub my bathroom sink…and call my husband.

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